Audition Central: Oliver! JR.
Script: Oliver Twist
SIDE 1
CHARLOTTE
Noah, I saved a nice little bit of bacon for you from master's breakfast. Oliver, pull up a chair for Mr. Noah and make haste, 'cos they'll want you to mind the shop. Do you hear?
NOAH
What are you staring at, Workhouse?
CHARLOTTE
Noah, let the boy alone.
NOAH
Let him alone? I'm giving the boy a change, you silly thing! Everyone's left him alone. His father left him alone, his mother... Workhouse, how's your mother?
OLIVER
You leave my mother out of it. She's dead.
NOAH
What did she die of, Workhouse? Shortage of breath?
OLIVER
(tearfully)
She's just dead! She died of a broken heart.
NOAH
Well tol-de-rol-lol-lol-right-fol-lairy. And it's a good thing she died when she did or she'd have been transported to Australaylia, or hung from the gallows as like as not!
END
SIDE 2
DODGER
Tired?
OLIVER
Yes. I've been walking seven days.
DODGER
Seven days?! Who are you running away from then? Your old man?
OLIVER
No, I'm an orphan. I've come to London to make my fortune.
DODGER
(suddenly very interested)
Oh you have, have ya.
OLIVER
Yes.
DODGER
Got any lodgings?
OLIVER
No.
DODGER
Money?
OLIVER
Not a farthing. Do you live in London?
DODGER
When I'm at home. I suppose you want some place to sleep tonight, don't you? Are you accommodated?
OLIVER
No, I don't think so...
DODGER
Then accommodated you shall be me young mate.
(He eyes OLIVER speculatively.)
There's a certain place and I know a respectable old gentleman as lives there, what'll give you lodging's for nothing. Mister Fagin. That's his name. Mister Fagin. By the way if I'm introducing you to Fagin, I better know who you are, me old china.
END
SIDE 3
DODGER
Mr. Twist has come to London to seek his fortune.
FAGIN
You've come to London to seek your fortune. We must see what we can do to help you. Are you hungry?
OLIVER
Starving.
FAGIN
Would you like a sausage?
DODGER
Hey Fagin! These sausages are moldy!
(OLIVER is looking at the handkerchiefs hung throughout the room.)
FAGIN
Ah! You're a-staring at the pocket handkerchiefs! There are quite a few of 'em ain't there? We've just hung 'em out, ready for the wash. The wash, that's all, Oliver, that's all.
OLIVER
Is this a laundry then, sir?
(The GANG roars with laughter.)
FAGIN
Well, not exactly, my dear. I suppose a laundry would be a very nice thing indeed, but our line of business pays a little better. Don't it boys?
GANG
I'll say it does!
FAGIN
You see, Oliver…
END
SIDE 4
MR. BROWNLOW
Hey! Wait a moment.
(A fully dressed OLIVER and MRS. BEDWIN cross towards MR. BROWNLOW, who tries to get the attention of the DELIVERY PERSON.)
Hey! Come back! Oh really, really, really and I particularly wished some books to be returned today.
DR. GRIMWIG
(cannily)
Why not send Oliver with them?
OLIVER
Yes! Do let me take them for you please, sir.
MR. BROWNLOW
Oh! Em, oh very well my boy, very well. If you wish, you shall. Now I'll tell you what I want you to do. You will give Mr. Jessop these books, it's just down the road, and say you've come to pay the four pounds ten that I owe him. Here's five pounds. No need to rush, but I shall expect you back in ten minutes.
(OLIVER notices a portrait on the wall.)
OLIVER
She's a very pretty lady, isn't she, sir?
MR. BROWNLOW
Yes, it's a portrait of my daughter, Agnes.
OLIVER
I'll take the books then sir.
MR. BROWNLOW
(staring at the portrait)
Yes... you take the books.
(OLIVER exits.)
DR. GRIMWIG
Ha! You don't really expect him to come back, do you? With a new suit of clothes on his back and a five pound note in his pocket? My dear Mr. Brownlow, if he does I'll eat my head.
MR. BROWNLOW
Dr. Grimwig. Look at that portrait. Don't you see an extraordinary resemblance between Oliver and my daughter Agnes?
DR. GRIMWIG
Can't say I do.
MR. BROWNLOW
Well, in ten minutes Dr. Grimwig, when the boy returns, I think you will see.
DR. GRIMWIG
Yes Mr. Brownlow, ten minutes.
END
SIDE 5
MR. SOWERBERRY
If you don't mind! Cash upon liking, Mr. Bumble! Cash upon liking!
(calls off to MRS. SOWERBERRY)
Mrs. Sowerberry!
(MRS. SOWERBERRY enters.)
MRS. SOWERBERRY
What is it you want? What is it? Oh, Mr. Bumble!
MR. SOWERBERRY
My dear, I have told Mr. Bumble that we may consider taking in this boy to help in the shop.
MRS. SOWERBERRY
Dear me! He's very small.
(OLIVER goes onto tip-toe.)
MR. BUMBLE
Yes, he is rather small - there's no denying it. But he'll grow, Mrs. Sowerberry - he'll grow.
(MRS. SOWERBERRY examines OLIVER doubtfully.)
MRS. SOWERBERRY
I dare say he will, on our vittles and our drink. They're a waste of time, these workhouse boys. They always cost more to keep than what they're worth. What's your name, boy?
OLIVER
Oliver. Oliver Twist, ma'am.
MRS. SOWERBERRY
An orphan then, Mr. Bumble?
MR. BUMBLE
Indeed Mrs. Sowerberry. The child's mother came to us destitute... brings the child into the world... takes one look at him... and promptly dies without leaving so much as a forwarding name and address.
MRS. SOWERBERRY
Very well then, junior coffin-follower... that's your job... have you eaten yet?
END
SIDE 6
SIKES
So he'll be down here, will he?
NANCY
Leave him alone, Bill!
SIKES
(glares at NANCY, then turns to OLIVER)
What did you tell him about us?
OLIVER
Nothing.
SIKES
That remains to be seen. But if we found out you said anything, anything out of place... Fagin, I'll wager that young scoundrel's told him everything.
(SIKES grabs OLIVER. NANCY rushes forward and grabs SIKES's arm. The GANG hides.)
FAGIN
All right, all right! We've got him back! What's the matter with you?
SIKES
The girl's gone mad, I think, Fagin.
NANCY
No she hasn't, Fagin, don't think it.
FAGIN
Then keep quiet, will you?
NANCY
I wish I'd of been struck down dead before I lent a hand in bringing him back here. After tonight, he's a liar and a thief and all that's bad. Ain't that enough for you, without scaring him to death?!
FAGIN
Come, come Nancy, we must have civil words.
NANCY
Civil words?! Yes! You deserve them from me! I was out on the streets for you when I was a child half his age, and I've been in the same trade, the same service for fifteen years since and don't you forget it.
END