Audition Central: Elf The Musical JR.
Script: Deb
SIDE 1
WALTER
You have to work on Christmas Eve, tough luck, so do I. Get it through your heads, Greenway s on his way and if he doesn t buy our pitch, we re all fired.
DEB
May I make a suggestion?
WALTER
Anything.
DEB
Whenever we visited my grammy in Budapest, she would tell us the story of little Palko, the one-legged boy. He wished and he wished every year for a leg and then one Christmas morning there it was, under the tree. From Santa.
WALTER
A leg?
DEB
Yes. A leg.
WALTER
A human leg?
DEB
Yes, because he d been a very good boy.
WALTER
That s the most disgusting story I ve ever heard.
DEB
Well, it s incredibly touching when you hear it in Hungarian.
SIDE 2
DEB
Mr. Greenway, sir.
BUDDY
(standing up)
Hi, Mr. Greenway, I m Buddy the Elf!
MR. GREENWAY
What? Who the devil is that?
WALTER
Well, he s, uh, he s my, son.
MR. GREENWAY
What?!
WALTER
Deb! Buddy needs a break.
DEB
(to BUDDY)
Buddy, why don t you come help me put these documents through the shredder?
BUDDY
What s a shredder?
DEB
It s a machine that makes snow.
BUDDY
No way!
(BUDDY and DEB leave the office.)
MR. GREENWAY
Hobbs! My phone has been ringing off the hook. Angry mothers, kids crying, What happened to Jingles, the jolly Christmas puppy?
WALTER
It was an unfortunate oversight, Mr
MR. GREENWAY
Hobbs, you re out of a job unless you can come up with a blockbuster idea for a new Christmas book. I mean a through- the-roof national bestseller!
WALTER
Well, sir, that s easier said than done
MR. GREENWAY
Yes, it is. So you better get your top writers on it, because I will be back in New York on the evening of December twenty- fourth. At that time, you will present to me, in exact detail, your plans for the book! Happy holidays, Hobbs.