SIDE 1

CHARLOTTE DENNON

Charlotte Dennon, New York One, continuing our live coverage from Central Park. No evidence has yet been found of the UFO that apparently crashed in the park earlier this evening. Perhaps what you millions of New York One viewers saw was Santa Claus making his rounds...

BUDDY

(grabbing the microphone and looking into the camera)

That s exactly what people saw, only the sleigh crashed because there isn t enough Christmas spirit.

CHARLOTTE DENNON

It seems that one of Santa s elves has joined us.

BUDDY

Look! I have Santa s iPad right here!

(pointing to a woman in the crowd)

You, ma am, what s your name?

DARLENE LAMBERT

Darlene Lambert.

BUDDY

(leafing through the book)

Darlene Lambert. On Christmas 1979, Santa brought you a red bicycle with a bell shaped like Miss Piggy.

DARLENE LAMBERT

What? How did you know that?

BUDDY

And you are, ma am?

EMMA VAN BROCKLIN

Emma Van Brocklin.

BUDDY

Christmas. 1960. A Bobby Rydell lunchbox.

EMMA VAN BROCKLIN

I loved Bobby Rydell!

CHARLOTTE DENNON

What is this, some kind of a trick?

BUDDY

What s your name?

CHARLOTTE DENNON

Charlotte Dennon, New York One.

BUDDY

Charlotte Dennon, New York One. Yeah, right, here you are. This year you want a Tiffany engagement ring and your boyfriend Dwayne to stop dragging his feet and pop the question.

CHARLOTTE DENNON

Who told you to say that? My mother?

BUDDY

No, it s right here!

CHARLOTTE DENNON

Okay. That s it. I don t know how you re doing this, but I m not an idiot. Everybody knows that there is no Santa Claus.

(realizing what she has just said)

Omigosh! I ruined Christmas.