Script

SIDE 1

Zeus, I hear your warnings, and so run I must away from this Sonny Malone, who has stolen my heart.

(SONNY enters)

You would have to be blind not to see that sign just staring you in the face!

Sonny, please stop talking, it hurts.

Hey, Kira, now don t be a bummer.

Sadly, bummer I am, and bummer I shall be. Sonny, it is here I must take my leave of you.

Leave of me? Like leave me?

I must go.

But, you can t leave, the whole Xanadu thing. I need you here.

You can do this without me, surely. And when the Xanadu club is open and thriving  you shall pause a moment and reflect on us. And wherever I might be, I will know we ll always have this roller disco.

Yeah. But I need you just to be around.

Stuff and nonsense. I have met you only a moment earlier. We do not know one another well enough to have any significant ties. Do we?

Well, yes, I guess you re right and all but  ahh  don t walk away!!

SIDE 2

How?

Impossible!

She proves this, she s good.

Zeus, I remind you of my son, Achilles, the greatest warrior of Greece? And how he was destroyed by Paris, who shot his arrow straight through Achilles heel, thus killing him? For as you may recall, dear Zeus, all of the gods offspring are dipped into the river Styx, thus making them impervious to injury. But they are held by their ankles, so that their only vulnerable spot is their ankles.

I remember this, Thetis, but I do not see how

Master Zeus, I appeal to you. Look at the attire Clio has donned. The woolen woven fabric she has placed around her ankles

The leg warmers!

But, of course! No curse can penetrate this demigoddess. Not as long as these mighty leg warmers are on my ankles.

Oh, if only I had thought to knit leg warmers for my brave son Achilles.

Then it is true. Love has triumphed. Clio truly did fall in love with that mortal.

I don't care. She will be banished anyway.

SIDE 3

(pure Julliard)
I take my place before you, great and oh, merciful Father Zeus; Hera, wife of Zeus; Thetis, Goddess of the Sea; Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, to beg your forgiveness.

Dearest Clio, you have given way to the curse of love, inflicted upon you by your mischievous sisters. And that is a foolishness and a folly which I cannot accept from one of my offspring. And so I must punish you.

But my Lord, surely as you have created this child, with the Goddess of Memory, surely, you have it in your heart to forgive her.

These are the rules I have created, and they are the rules by which I must abide.

But I, Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, implore you. Be lenient with her. I sense this love is not a curse, but actually genuine love.

Never! It is a curse. A curse placed upon her by her sisters. And she must suffer the consequences.

I, Thetis, a Goddess of the Sea, look into the eyes of this child and know it is not a curse but actual love.

I know this as well, but my only evidence is my feelings.

She s got it bad and that ain t good.

I shall now proclaim my sentence: eternal banishment in the nether world.

Stay your hand, my Lord. I shall present existence of genuine love that can be proved not with feelings but with hard evidence.

What?

SIDE 4

Hurry up, the sign is so clear anybody can see it. All right, see you later. G'day, mate!

(#22  HERMES begins. HERMES enters.)

Clio!

Uh! Oh it is you! Hermes, the fleet-footed messenger of the gods. What brings you to me, Hermes?

Clio, I bring you a message from Zeus.

Yes, Hermes.

He wishes to know if you have seen his sign?

Yes, yes. I have seen the sign, Hermes.

He also wishes to remind you that the penalty for creating art on one s own is eternal damnation in the netherworld.

I am aware of that; you may tell Zeus.

And thirdly, he wishes you to know that the penalty for loving a mortal is eternal damnation in the netherworld.

Hermes, why does Zeus tell me these things? I love no one; I have created nothing! I am an ageless and loveless, uncreative being. Why does Zeus accuse me so? Why Hermes, why?

Girlfriend, I don t know your life.

(HERMES exits with attitude)

SIDE 5

Notice how we do inspire the humans here in Los Angeles and Orange Counties.

Inspiration here, it would seem, is received like water in a land of drought.

Oooh, snapeth.

(#5  THE MUSES MUSE (PART 1) begins.)

(enters and speaks formally)
Huzzah, Sisters!

Huzzah to Clio, leader of the Muses!

As I am being pursued by the mortal named Sonny Malone, my intercourse with you must be fleeting.

Yes, my younger and exceedingly immature sister, I indeed notice your labors with this human are more then ardent  are you falling in love with him? Or do you simply wish to create art yourself?

You speak with a serpent s tongue, my old, old, ancient and potentially senile sister. I know that for Muses to create is forbidden by Zeus himself. Forbidden almost as much as falling in love with a mortal. My work with the one they call Sonny Malone is purely selfish. For Zeus has appeared to me in dreams and told me that one day soon I will inspire a creation so wondrous that I will be granted the gift of... Xanadu!

(#6  THE MUSES MUSE (PART 2) begins.)

(except Melpomene and Calliope)
Xanadu!

Xanadu? The gift so grand that none of us truly knows what it is?

SIDE 6

Zeus tells me he will be sending a sign. And now I must go and inspire great work!

(#7  THE MUSES MUSE (PART 3) begins. KIRA exits.)

Sweet Sisters of Inspiration!

Let us attend to our various charges!

(#8  THE MUSES MUSE (PART 4) begins. The MUSES exit, leaving MELPOMENE and CALLIOPE alone.) begins. KIRA exits.)

Calliope, hasten hither.

I m already hither.

I crave a word with you. I need not tell you, as first born, I was entitled to the position of leader of the Muses.

And yet Zeus did not grant thusly. What gives?

Achelous. [akhe-ló-os]

The river god?

He was a river god, and he was a rambling man. He left me with my daughters, Molpe [mol-pay], Peisonoe [pay-so-no-ee], Thelxiepeia [thel-ksee-EH-pee-ah]

Like a Jennifer or a Susan would have killed you.

Ah, my daughters! For years I instructed them in the lute and the flute. And now they sit by the seaside singing and playing and luring sailors to their rocky deaths. Yes, my daughters, the Sirens.