Script

SIDE 1

Maybe you can borrow the thousand from Sky.
 

Not Sky. With him that kind of money ain t lending money. It s betting money. So why don t I bet him? Why don t I bet him a thousand on something?
 

You would bet with Sky Masterson?
 

I ain't scared. I am perfectly willing to take the risk, providing I can figure out a bet on which there is no chance of losing. He likes crazy bets... Ooh! Look - run into Mindy's Restaurant and ask Mindy how many pieces of cheesecake he sold yesterday and also how many pieces of strudel.
 

How much cheesecake, how much strudel -
 

What do you want to know for?
 

Just find out! Now beat it - here comes Adelaide. If she hears I am running the crap game she will never set foot on me again.

(BENNY and NICELY run off as ADELAIDE ENTERS, carrying a small box which contains a man's belt and a small card. She is followed by THREE GIRLS from the Hot Box.)
 

Hello, Nathan dear.
 

Adelaide! Pigeon!

(Embrace)
 

(To Three Girls)
You go ahead, girls. Order me a tuna fish on rye and a chocolate sundae with tomato ketchup and mayonnaise.

 

 

Okay, Adelaide.

(THEY EXIT)

 

 

 

 

We gotta get back to the Hot Box.

 

 

 

 

You still rehearsing?

 

 

 

 

Yeah. That slave driver Charlie - he's been working us all day. Finally I says, "Look, Charlie, I'm starving! I gotta get outa here and get something to eat." And he says, "You don't want to eat. You just want to sneak out and meet that cheap bum, Nathan Detroit!"

 

 

 

 

(Outraged)
So what did you say to him?

 

 

 

 

(Proudly)
I told him. I says, "I'll meet whoever I want!" Nathan! Happy Anniversary!

(SHE hands him the box)

 

 

 

 

A present? For me?

(HE begins to open it)

 

 

 

 

I hope you like it.

 

 

 

 

(He looks inside)
A belt!

 

 

 

 

Read the card!

 

 

 

 

"Sugar is sweet, and so is jelly, so put this belt around your belly." That's so sweet. Look, honey - about your present. I didn't get one. I'm sorry.

(ADELAIDE gets in front of him - he puts his arms around her)

 

 

 

 

No, I kinda like it when you forget to give me presents. It makes me feel like we're married.

 

 

 

 

Don't worry, honey - one of these days I'll be in the money, and you'll have more mink than a mink.

 

 

 

 

Nathan darling, I can do without anything just so long as you don't start running the crap game again.

 

 

 

 

The crap game! What an absurd thought!

(BENNY and NICELY ENTER)

 

 

 

 

Psst!

(NATHAN turns to him)

 

 

 

 

Yesterday Mindy sold twelve hundred cheesecake and fifteen hundred strudel.

 

 

 

 

More strudel than cheesecake. That's great!

 

 

 

 

Nathan! What is this?

 

 

 

 

Nothing, honey. Look, Adelaide, I'm expecting a fellow, and I know you're hungry...

 

 

 

 

Nathan, are you trying to get rid of me?

 

 

 

 

SIDE 2

 

 

Tell me, what about Nathan Detroit? Is he got a place for his crap game?
 

He s still looking for a place.
 

The heat is on.
 

Well, tell him I m loaded and looking for action. I just acquired five thousand potatoes.
 

Five thousand bucks!
 

Where did you acquire it?
 

I collected the reward on my father.

(HARRY exits.)
 

Everybody is looking for action. I wish Nathan finds a

(BENNY stops as BRANNIGAN enters  he crosses to Benny.)
 

Why, Lieutenant Brannigan! Mr. Southstreet, it is Lieutenant Brannigan of the New York Police Department.
 

A pleasure.
 

Either of you guys seen Nathan Detroit?
 

Which Nathan Detroit is that?
 

I mean the Nathan Detroit who s been running a floating crapgame around here. You can tell him for me: I know that right now he s running around trying to find a spot&

(NATHAN enters, not seeing BRANNIGAN.)
 

Hi, Nathan!
 

Fellas, I m having terrible trouble. Everybody s scared on account of that lousy Brannigan, and I can t
 

Something wrong, Mr. Detroit?
 

(a sickly grimace)
Oh, hello, Lieutenant. I hope you don t think I was talking about you. There are other lousy Brannigans.

 

 

Detroit, I imagine you are having trouble finding a place for your crap game.

 

 

 

 

Well, the heat is on, as you must know from the fact that you now have to live on your salary.

(BRANNIGAN glares and exits.)

 

 

 

 

Did you find a place for the game?

 

 

 

 

I was just over to the Biltmore Garage. Joey says he might take a chance and let me use the place, if I give him a thousand bucks.

 

 

 

 

A thousand bucks!

 

 

 

 

In cash.

 

 

 

 

Nathan, can t you do something?

 

 

 

 

SIDE 3

 

 

Okay, but where s the game?

(Exclamations from the CRAPSHOOTERS  NATHAN enters.)
 

I ll tell you in a minute.

(BENNY crosses to him.)

Nathan, is it all set? Can I tell the guys that it s at the Biltmore Garage?
 

Not yet. I got to stall  em for a while. Joey wants his dough first.
 

But it s eleven o clock  they won t stick around much longer.
 

So sue me...

(HARRY THE HORSE crosses to NATHAN.)
 

Detroit, if you do not have no place for your game, tell us, and we will seek elsewhere for entertainment.