Script

SIMPSON

Kids, it’s a smash! Lina, you were gorgeous.

COSMO

Yeah, Lina. You looked pretty good for a girl.

(LINA is absolutely furious and turns on them. We hear her voice for the first time. It is high-pitched, nasal, and anything but attractive.)

LINA

F’heavens sake, what’s the idea? Singin’ a song at my opening? And can’t a girl get a word in edgewise? They’re my public too.

SIMPSON

Lina, the publicity department decided it’d be better if Don made all the speeches for the team.

LINA

Why?

COSMO

Let’s just say with a voice like yours, it’s a good thing movies are silent.

LINA

What’s wrong with my voice?

ROZ

Lina, you’re a beautiful woman, and the audience thinks you’ve got a voice to match.

LINA

What’s wrong with the way I talk? What’sa big idea – am I dumb or somethin’?