Script

SIDE 1

TOM

You want the TV? Take the TV. The TV's yours. Just leave me alone.

GEORGE

Relax, Tom. We're just different parts of you. We are all the ideas in your head.

DINA

And not just us, Tom. Do you realize how many ideas you have in your head? Just look around you.

ALL (EXCEPT TOM)

(to audience, ad-lib greetings)

Hi. Hello. (etc.)

(TOM looks around and sees the audience for the first time.)

TOM

I don't understand this!

SHULIE

Don't you see, Tom? We're every person you've ever met.

(SHULIE removes Tom's robe, revealing Tom's work clothes.)

JOE

We're every place you've ever been.

DORI

We're every thing you've ever known!

SHULIE

Feel better?

TOM

No.

JOE

You look great!

END

SIDE 2

JOE

Criminy, George, that one just plum wore me out.

TOM

That was a really fun song!

DORI

And?

TOM

And it was very informative.

DINA

But?

TOM

But it wore me out a bit.

SHULIE

Or?

TOM

Or, hey, what's up with all the conjunctions?

DORI, DINA, SHULIE

You tell us, Tom.

END

SIDE 3

JOE

In the mornings, when I'm usually wide awake, I love to take a walk through the gardens AND down by the lake, where I often see a duck AND a drake; AND I wonder as I walk by just what they'd say if they could speak. Although I know that's an absurd thought!

END